This is damn fucked up.

Why am i getting such 'punishment' when I din't freaking do anything wrong at all?
It's you who want to give up, it's you who can't sort your thoughts out, everything is you.
And the one getting the fucked up treatment is me, and somemore it's you who give me that fucked up stuff.

So tell me, what did i do wrong?
Hur?

Like you have problems with yourself and you show it out on other ppl.
I'm so freaking innocent. But I am being treated as if i am invisible by you.
Kevin is so freaking innocent. But you made him a sandwich by treating me as if I do not exist.


Nice one.
A fucking nice move.

And what's with all your attitude?

The world does not evolve around you.
Somehow i think that you should be more sensitive about other people's feeling instead of only bothering about your own.
You are not the world.
You're just a normal human being like any of us.

Whatever.
You are getting on my nerves.

The happy and drunk birthday boy man.
And the cake-on-face art is done by Kevin. Haha!

Kevin commented that I always look fierce in photos.
So we tried again today.

Fierce meh? Haha.

Damn tired.
Lack of sleep + lotsa alcohol + killer heels = totally worn out.

Small bruises spotted on my knees again.

=((

Friday night was spent with best buddies.

The three of us went drinking again.
Yes i know, drinking is bad for health.
I seldom drink anyway o.0 it's once in a while.
Haha.

Same place, same spot, same drink, same style. =D

V for vickii, and yay.
Need some alcohol in my blood.
And yea, I'm red. But it subsided eventually.

Kevin's friends joined us around 11 plus.
It's never bad to know new friends, like Clarence who's only 3 days older than me (seriously, same year some more) and Robin whose birthday falls on Valentine's day.

We had fun anyway.

A group photo.

-
Life is harsh.
Somehow, we just have to grow up, think and act in a mature manner, even if you still wanna be a kid and be naughty to get attention or sulk whenever you don't feel good.
Not that I wanna be a kid or I sulk or whatever.

I just think that we should start weighing our priorities in life.
And also, spend some time thinking what exactly are you doing now.
Why are you doing it? Is it a tad too childish? Is it what you want? Is it really necessary to do so?

Hmmm.

Guess you'll get more emo when you turn 21.

领悟到太多太多的东西。

不认老不行了。

Haha.

Good night people. Time to get some decent sleep.

Note to self:

Watson's Expo Sales tml!

=D

I woke up at 9.30am TODAY!

Shall try harder to and wake up earlier tomorrow.


Hmmm hmmm.
So what shall i do today?

I had a familiar, weird but nice dream yesterday night.

Somehow, I wish that it's real.
But i know, it's impossible.

Cuz afterall, it is only a dream.

Reached home, switch the telly on, as well as my laptop.
Check my mail.
Get the water onto the stove.
Bathe.
Cook my mee.
Enjoy my damn dinner, oh maybe supper, in my room.
Feed my hamsters after I fed myself. Play with them a little. Telling them that they're loved.
Brush my teeth.
Off my lights and maybe burn the nice-smelling incense.
Lie on bed, watching telly.
Sleep.

I feel lonely, but I'm loving this loneliness.
Like the world's mine, and nobody elses.

Only if there's someone special, sharing this little world of mine.
But no. I'm not in a hurry to find anyone.
I'm quite happy to be alone now.
I love myself more than anytime in the past.

I just wanna find the right one.

Maybe he's there since before.
Maybe he's someone around me.
Maybe he has once crossed my path.
Maybe he's still a stranger to me.
Maybe he'll never appear.
Maybe maybe maybe.

We shall let time reveal everything.

Real love, is falling in love many times with the same person.

So, how many times have you fallen in love with your other half?

It's the first time that I think that my family is getting better.

But no.

It's just a wishful feeling for a moment.

This is life i suppose.
Whenever i feel that everything's perfect for me,
some things will go wrong some way.

And yea, these things don't come alone.

I dreamt of 'them' again last night.
Tough fight though, but I won.
Ended up with a damn disturbed night.

Haha.
Maybe I should laugh it off.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAA ha.

Should i, or should i not?

Ate Mcd's Breakfast Deluxe this morning!
Share it with Kenneth.
Doubt i can finish it alone. Haha.
But it's just nice for the two of us. =D

Went to library to borrow books and recipes.
More baking coming up.
Awesome aint it?

Damn tired after basketball.
Hmm.

Went to Rui Chun for dinner yesterday after school.
Yummy.
=D

I'm determined to learn this song.

Hurt by Christina Aguilera.

I believe i can do a decent interpretation of that song now.
Haha.
I believe la.

Bad cramps.
I don't like.
Haha.

Finally, those taxing assignments are all over.
One more to go and it's exam!

ok.
I don't know whether to cry or smile for that.
lol.

Have you ever have the feeling where someone is stripping you naked with his eyes?
Pieces by pieces, slow enough to let your brain go crazy?

Haha.

Minus out the oh-so-pervertic thinking,
it's how i feel when anyone ask me anything regarding the stuff i wrote here.
It's a awkward and weird feeling, as if you're so afraid that you'll write something wrong.

Guess I'm a good child afterall.
Haha.

Damn my room's like a sauna la.
=(
I want my air-con back.
Yes, i do have one, like 8 or 9 years back i think.

hahahahaaaaaaaaa.

Went to Siong Leng yesterday, for.. awhile.
Haha.
Go wish them Happy New Year.

And I bought this kid along. Haha.

Then Kaiboon left with us to go to Vivo City.
Wanted to watch movie initially.
But they're all sold out.
So not good.

Bought my mp3 player from Samsung with a 20% off.
So i paid around $240 instead of $299?
Wanna get the black version initially, but they're all out.
So i got the silver one.
Not bad la.

He bought a Daruma for me to save $$.
Haha!

Kevin came over from Siong Leng after Blackjack to meet us for dinner.
Walked around, went Daiso, and finally decided on Thai Express.

Our food.
We ordered the prawn toast or something too.
Yea. Spicy and delicious dinner.

Had been eating too much good food recently.
Gaining that extra pounds already.
=.=''

My mp3 player!

And the things that I bought back after a day out.
Damn tired.

Lollipop Earl Grey.
From Tea Dot.
Nice nice nice!

Met up with Kevin and Kaiboon for dinner at Nihon Mura.
Sushi = Yummy = Delicious = Love.
Haha.
And we ordered damn lot of food la.
Ate till damn full.

Assignments are killing me.
Hope I can complete them tonight.
Haha.

Going Siong Leng tml.
hmmmmmm.

Getting my new mp3 player tml.
Awesome.

And Happy Valentine's Day people, though I don't have a valentine.

But oh.
I do have a new love.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.



I ♥ my new shades.

Feeling lonesome.
Haha.

I'm so going to get that samsung mp3 player with my 20% birthday discount.
Then at later half of the year, I'm so going to get a digital camera.

Gawd damn it.
My nose's extremely blocked.
=((

I'm a sick baby.
Sick sick baby~

lol.

So damn it la.

Last night was fever.
So what's in for me tonight?
hah.
I know.
FLU.

So stupid.
So so stupid~

And and,
little do i know,
that Peicheng is a chiongster!

o.0

So random.
So so random~

ARGH.

When i thought that I gonna celebrate my birthday alone,
I'm surprised.


Thankyou Rayson,
for asking the bakery to bake this cake for me when they're closing,
and taking a cab all the way down just to sing me a birthday song.

Thankyou so much.
=)

And yea.
I went shopping alone on my birthday.

Bought masks, masks and more masks,
nail colors,
shades,
bed sheets (they're on 50% off! damn awesome can),
eh.. i don't remember what else i bought.

and after this shopping spree,
it's time to save.

Well my only birthday wish,
is..
money money come to me.
haha!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.

Celebration on 6th Feb 2010.
Photos BELOW!

The food. And this is suppose to be my 'sandwich bar'.
But somehow... hmmmm.

Say "Hello People". =D

Setting up the pit.

It seemed like Marcus (left) was confronting Kaiboon (right).

Then super-kind me stopped the confrontation by getting Marcus to say hi to the camera.
And at the same time, Kaiboon was getting ready for revenge.

He got it, sweetly.
Haha.

Actually, no.
They're just playing with charcoals, and Marcus was probably reminiscing his old army days.


Very fun meh? Haaha.

Yay hearts.

Photos with people who came.
Zhiguan, Xie laoshi, Lingling, Qunhui, Brenda, Marcus, Nick, Kevin.

With Joel.

With Peicheng.

With Marui.

Round 2.
Marcus 'confronting' Joel.
Haha. JK. =x


3 men + 3 bottles of beer.
Does it look like some beer commercial?

Kenneth Liew.

HongKah.

So it's d-time.

My Sweet 21st birthday cake that i don't have the chance to taste it at the end of the day.
Haha.

Photo-taking session..

With family.
My shoulders are really.. damn straight.

The Ngee Ann-ians.

With Siong Leng.

Hong Kah.

Kaiboon's friends.

All the guys.

All the pretty ladies. =D

That's about it for the celebration. Haha.
Actually, i think there's more photos in Marcus' phone.
I haven gotten em, so ya.

A big thankyou to all who make it happen for me,
especially Marcus and Kaiboon.
You guys are there from the start till the end of everything,
and helped so much.

Thanks all who came down, even if it's for a while.
It's the thoughts that count. =D

The birthday wishes, the birthday song..
They all bring warmth to my heart.
And for once, everything seems so fine and bright and full of hope.
Well, i hope it last.
=)

And presents I've received..
A 21st medal from Marui.
Ferrero Rocher from Brenda.
Cosmetic from brother & gf.
Necklace from Marcus.
Seductive undies (ha!) from Joel, and he told me secretly that he got it from a sex shop and was scared that i'll find it offensive. Haa.
Chill la. We're all grown-ups.
But i doubt I got a chance to wear it. Nobody to seduce ah. lol.
Angpow from Xie Laoshi.
Angpow from Peicheng, Lingling, Nick, Zhiguan, Feiyou, Yinzhi. I hope i din't miss out anyone.
Angpow from my dad.

And lotsa beer!
Drank till I'm damn bloated duh!
And I kept forgeting where I'd placed mine.
Like you put it there, the moment you turned and looked back, all the cans looked the same and you have no idea which was yours.
It's similar to fetching a toddler from pre-school.
When the door opens and many of them walk out at the same time, they all look alike with the uniform and you have no idea who's who. All you can do is to stand there and wait for yours to recognise you.
But in this case, my beer wasn't able to recognise me.
Haa.

Nevertheless,

A big thankyou to all.
=)

7th Feb 2010.

I stayed over at the chalet for a night only. Cuz there's presentation on Monday, which is yesterday, and i couldn't afford to fall sick.
Cabbed home with Kenneth after breakfast.
Bathed, and sleep till 6+ pm.
The funny thing was that Kenneth came into my room and sleep with me after he bathed.
And he refused to go to his bed when my mother asked him to.
Like he loves my bed damn much la.
Too comfy. Haha.
So we slept till my mum start shouting at us to wake us up for dinner.

Cabbed to E Hub to meet Kaiboon and Marcus for K-box after dinner.

We sang from 8pm till i think around 2am.
6 damn freaking hours and the bill's only 30+ for the three of us.
Great deal ain't it?
Cuz they're having this $8nett promo.
=D

And yes, I will try my best to learn to sing rock.
Be a rock star!
lol.
lol.
lol.

So.
Today's my birthday.

Happy Birthday to me.
=)

I'm so tempted to go for degree with Northumbria.

Reason being:

1. It's a UK Uni.
2. It's only a year for the degree because of the diploma I'm studying now.
3. The rating of the uni is not bad, as compared to alot more UK uni.

But the fees added up to around S$10k ~ S$11k.
Don't know how long I have to save before I can go for it.
Maybe 2 - 3 years, if i work a full-time stable job.
Hah.

Anyway, I have a job in mind and most likely I will be going for it after I get my diploma.
But can get it or not is another thing la hor.
lol.

Things that I wanna achieve, before i turn 25 maybe?

1. Travel to any country alone.
2. Get inked.
3. Set up a business of my own.
4. Perform my own music in public.
5. Get my own apartment.

Okay. Point no 5 seems difficult.
But nothing is impossible.. at least i can use this reason to bluff myself a lil.

Things that I'm so going to save up for:
1. New phone.
2. Keyboard.
3. A decent digital camera.

As for those that I have on my wishlist on the side of my blog,
I think i shall remove --> A really sweet and wonderful 21st birthday.
I believe that my birthday chalet will be wonderful.
But as for the actual day itself, I'll be celebrating it alone.
It's a first for me, and i believe that there'll be more to come.

Wanted to make a trip to M'sia alone on that day.
But to do so, i need to renew my passport and all.
Hah.

Ok i know what i can do already.
I can sit in my room, and sing '祝我生日快乐' to myself.
Haha.

Cool shit.